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The Sometimes Difficult Truth About Finding Mommy-Friends

March 28, 2010

Last week I read an article on HybridMom.com by Christine Coppa about the challenges she faced in making new friends with other moms after she had her son. Her story had me thinking back to my early days as a mom. While I was very happy to be a mom, the adjustment to my new life was far from easy and I could have really used the support of other new moms. I found that support at a local moms group. But I didn’t really make any lasting friendships there. When I look back now, I’m left wondering, what did I do back then? I remember feeling that I was always busy. I did have contact with old friends and family, and I socialized with other mothers at group classes that my daughter attended. But I didn’t really have a true mommy friend until my oldest daughter was 4 years old.

It was wonderful to finally connect with someone in a more meaningful way when I finally did make my first mommy friend. In fact, everyone in both our families became very close at that time. But it would have been nice to have had that experience a little earlier on as well. I know lots of things make it hard to connect with other new parents – adjusting to new roles, lacking time between work and home responsibilities, and tending to not focus much on your own needs while you’re caring for a baby, just to name a few.

Recently, I “met” Christine Cook at a virtual networking event. Christine is the founder and CEO of truebluematch.com. The site is a friendship matching service for parents, matching moms with moms and dads with other dads for friendship, support and fun. I wish her much luck with this service and I probably would have tried it out myself if it was available when I was a new mom. (But back then we didn’t even have an internet connection in my home!) I encourage you to check it out if you are wishing to find a new friend as you adjust to becoming a parent. Being an empowered mom involves actively seeking for the support that you need.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 18, 2010 1:21 am

    Glad to see that I am not alone in this problem. I’ve had lots of trouble making mommy friends and I have always chalked it up to living in England.

  2. drcuneo permalink*
    April 18, 2010 8:59 am

    I’m sure it’s easier for those folks who are living near where they grew up with lots of old friends nearby. But regardless of where you are, finding people who you really click with in a meaningful way can be difficult. Just because your kids are the same age doesn’t mean you have much else in common! Best of luck to you mumabroad!

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